Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Help for the Caregiver, Family: A Calendar & Friends

As a little girl, I attended more funerals than most adults today do in their lifetime.  A pastor's daughter in the Midwest, I sat in the front row with my little sister, while Mother sang a solo and Daddy preached the sermon.  Mostly I remember the food:  Jello salad, fried chicken, mashed potatoes.  Yes, and cookies, pies and cakes.

Community, so important in the 50s,  has waned.  Yet the needs, not just during the time of death, but during extended illness, are still there.  How do we cobble together a caring community which allows us, in the words of Scripture, to "bear one another's burdens?"  How do we help caregivers get a break from the important work they do so they can be revived?

Care Calendar is a great help.  This program organizes needs so others can meet them. The recipient lists needs:  meals, visits, light housework, transportation to medical appointments, etc..  Friends and family sign up on the calendar for the tasks they choose.  The program also sends reminder emails a day ahead of the assignment. And each group of helpers has a leader to keep things running smoothly.

My friend Lupe is our recipient.  She is fighting cancer and needs all her strength for the battle. I do what I can when I can do it.  So far, it's been bringing a cooked meal and visiting with her.  Others fill in other gaps.  They clean her house, drive her to chemo appointments and stay with her.

Care Calendar was born when a mother of nine children had a serious illness, and her husband needed a simple, organized way of telling the family's story and the needs of each family member.
It has so many applications, however, but particularly for the caregiver and the person in need.

What do you think of the CareCalendar idea?  Could it help you or your friends?

Wednesday, July 25, 2018

Caregiving, illness and stress: sharing the load

Are  you overburdened?  Or do you live or work with someone who is?  Aging parents, or aging, period, can bring overwhelming stress to all.

I've been thinking a lot about this subject, so I turned to the Bible.  It turns out that in Galatians 6, in the New Testament, there are two references to burdens that may at first seem contradictory.

"Bear ye one another's burdens" in v. 2 seems to indicate that we are to help others who are overwhelmed by life. Yet in v. 5, the command is that "every man should bear his own burden."  Which is it?  Or can it be both?

There are actually two different Greek words for burden.  Baros in v. 2 refers to an overloaded ship, with cargo so full that it's in danger of taking in water and sinking.  Picture a person or a family in that situation.  Their physical and emotional resources are shot.  They don't know where to turn.  They have taken on so much cargo, otherwise known as baggage, that they feel they're sinking.  They need help!

The other Greek word for burden, found in v. 5, is Phortion.  Another nautical word, it refers to the normal load a ship is designed to carry. If a ship is to sail properly, it needs a certain amount of cargo.  If it's empty, it cannot set full sail and make full speed, and it tosses and pitches violently in rough seas. The analogy works in life, too.  We need some stress to produce and to feel alive.

In another explanation of the burdens, the one  mentioned in v.2 is like a bolder that no one can roll up a steep hill.  And the other burden in v. 5 is like a backpack that we can strap on and navigate through life.

Bottom line, we all have burdens from time to time, and we're given strength to carry them or to allow others to help us.  And we can reach out and assist others whose burdens are otherwise unbearable.

Another blog post soon will cover a way people can team together to help families facing illness.  Stay tuned.



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